Potty Mouth

I just fell in love.

I mean the head-over-heels kind of love where you just want to stare longingly and softly stroke the object of your affection. It's the kind of love that most mere mortals simply don't understand. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure it's a one-way attraction, but isn't that the fruit of many of the world's greatest love stories? But who knows? If my toilet could talk, it might too speak of a Shakesperean longing for my presence.

Maybe it's just the full moon talking, but I've been experiencing some sort of a weird animal attraction to my new powder room lately. I could just stand in there and admire my handiwork all day long. Or at least for a good, quality handful of minutes each day.

The powder room happened quite by accident, as it turns out. It wasn't even on the radar when this project began, but like many spectacular ideas, it was born of a desire for tranquility and peace. You see, long ago, I noticed that the original pedestal sink was crooked. But it wasn't a correctable type of crookedness -- the bowl of the sink was molded incorrectly, like the porcelain pourer was riding out a nasty hangover the day our particular unit came down the assembly line. Steve reassured me time and again that no one would ever notice and that I was being a little anal retentive -- which I admit is rather amusing in a conversation about a bathroom. I explained to Steve that just because (most of) our friends and family have the good manners to ignore such a defect, people will still notice, and, well, it just bothered me.

So, we set off on a quest to replace the sink. After 1 or 7 too many martinis one night, we hastily negotiated a deal with someone from Craig's List for their adorable scalloped pedestal sink, which I realized only after it arrived had 2 ribbed "shells" sculpted out of it for the soap. Now I have nothing against shells in and of themselves, but I don't want to rest my decorative soaps on them. I just kept envisioning the cleaning nightmare that might cause and admitted my lapse in judgment. Being the mensch he is, Steve allowed me to not only get a new sink, but do it without him by my side, virtually guaranteeing a sizable expenditure.

Ah, not so, boys and girls. I found the sink directly out of the fantasy in my head and the best part is that it was on clearance. So, I got the toilet too! Both have that wonderful, square "Kohler" line, which prompted the statement, "Rob, guess what? I have a great idea! Chair rail and wainscoting in the powder room! What do you think?"

I said to my co-worker Margie that it's almost easier to have limits -- to have constraints within which to work. But here I had this fantastic, albeit diminutive blank canvas to knock out of the park. The options were a bit overwhelming. And then I flipped through that day's mail and found the answer. Flowers. White plaster reliefs from Expressions, and then I thought dark brown background, and well, it all just came together. To stick with the "square" theme, I chose a Pottery Barn mirror, new towel/TP hardware, and a chrome/white 1-bulb light from Bellacor. The storage shelf is a do-it-yourself model from Target!

And I love it. I don't plan to start any movements for the legal rights of those in love with inanimate objects or anything. But I do love it.