Terrorist Cell?

I remember the first time I felt Madison kick. I was 18 weeks pregnant and attending a black tie dinner. As the band hit a crescendo, I felt a fluttering drum roll move from one side of my swollen belly to the other. I was so startled that I wondered briefly what "What to Expect..." had to say about taking Beano during the second trimester.

I felt a similar feeling yesterday, but it lasted the entire day and hit a few crescendos of its own.

Nutrisystem, Day One.

I got on the whole Nutrisystem bandwagon during a Bento Box lunch with girlfriends from which I walked away bloated and tired. While I devoured my 6 little compartments of Japanese food, Sheri (who ate exactly half of her meal because she already practices strict portion control) extolled its virtues, claiming that her husband Jake lost 20 lbs and found it remarkably easy to stick to. Our other friend Maria was already riding high on that particular wave of hope and couldn't wait until January 1 to begin her Nutrisystem adventure. Her boxes were already unpacked and she had her meal plan written down and ready to go. By the time we walked to our cars, I too was convinced that this was exactly the sort of jump start I needed.

I came home and read a lot of reviews before I bought wholeheartedly into the prepackaged food idea. I was surprised by how many people raved about the program and even enjoyed the cuisine vs. those who thought it was garbage. I read everything from "It changed my life" to "I'd rather be fat than eat that food--I sold it all on eBay," but I decided to see for myself and ordered the "deluxe" program that offers frozen meals along with the dehydrated spaceman meals.

I was excited for day one until I got an email from Maria warning me about bloating. She was on day five, and wrote that it was getting easier and the food wasn't bad, but for the first three days she felt like a dirigible. Oh great. I certainly don't remember reading anything like THAT in the reviews.

Maria wasn't just whistling Dixie, so to speak. Maybe it's all the fresh vegetables that I'm not used to packing into my diet, or perhaps it's the way the NS food is prepared, but by 3:00 I felt like a float in the Macy's parade. It's a good thing I didn't have to fly anywhere because I was carrying around enough flammable material to be nabbed at Airport Security as Al Qaeda. Then again, one sneeze and I probably could have flown anywhere I wanted to all on my own.

All in all, roiling pockets of gas aside, the food wasn't too bad and the plan is easy enough to follow. You eat one pre-packaged item for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner and supplement each meal (plus a snack) with fresh fruit, dairy, protein, and lots of veggies. You also get one dessert each day.

For breakfast I had an Apple Strudel Scone, which was delicious. I expected it to taste like a NutriGrain bar (which I dislike), but it tasted more like dense cake. I had "Cheesy Mashed Potatoes" for lunch, which was OK for something you reconstitute with hot water. The "Buffalo Chicken Wrap" dinner was more of a joke than anything. It tasted OK, but the texture was all off and while the photo on the box shows big juicy strips of chicken wrapped in a soft multi grain tortilla, the actual meal was buffalo wing flavored mush with a few small chunks of chicken in it. It was impossible to eat like a wrap. I used a fork to eat the chicken and then dipped a portion of the wrap into the sauce.

The best part of yesterday's selections was dessert (natch!). The chocolate coconut bar is as good as any non-diet dessert, if not better. I savored it and enjoyed each little bite and I wouldn't even let Madison taste it! So I guess that just goes to show how I came to need the program in the first place.

Now let's hope day two is less of a gastrointestinal comedy than day one was!

*Friends' names have been changed to protect their gaseous identities.